Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Music Blog

If you haven't noticed, I get REALLY bored here. Since it's Sunday and I don't do jack on Sunday (Who's Jack?.... Badoom chic) I decided to write a little something about music. Mostly, what I'd like to do is share a couple of tunes with you that mean a little something to me. Like-to-hear-it-here-it-go....

"Here In My Room", Incubus
You know gosh darn well there is going to be several Incubus songs on this list so get over it.
This song is about love on a broken hearted, nearly douche bag level. About a guy who has given up on the feeling of love and has decided to make it an verb in the physical sense. It's no longer a feeling, it is an action. " For those of you that know the bitterness side of love - those of you that have been hurt, that have felt that dagger in your heart one too many times, this song will speak to you like no other. "If only the lights would dim a little/I'm weary of eyes upon my scars". That shits deep. The last verse even contains a little connotation about what exactly he's talking about. Take a listen and see if you pick up on that. The only problem I have with it is that it promotes those kind of acts that my moral beliefs won't allow me to - using sex as a form of pleasure rather than something that's supposed to have a background. Call me a pussy all you want but there has to be something there for me. But as far as the reasoning behind turning that corner from giving up on that four letter word and doing it maliciously to someone else isn't necessarily crossed here so I'm going with it. Party on, Brandon Boyd.

"Everybody Hurts", R.E.M.
This is a pretty old song, but you all know I'm still living in the 90's. Before I paid attention to this song's lyrics, I used to think this was a very depressing song. I thought it was about pain and hanging onto it. It wasn't until years later that I realized this about staying up. It's about not feeling alone. Most of you know where I come from with those kind of stories - that feeling of being alone is pretty strong. Being in a crowded room and feeling like not one of them understands you is one of the worst feelings in the world. What this song says is, "don't throw your hand". Why, because everybody hurts. Everyone knows that feeling. It may not be that same feeling and it may not come from the same place, but damnit... EVERYBODY hurts. So when you think you've had too much of this life... hang on.

"It Don't Matter to the Sun", Garth Brooks
As a song off of the Life of Chris Gaines album, I can see where this is automatically tagged as a stupid song. But if you listen to this song, it's about knowing that outside of you, the world keeps turning, the moon still shines, the sun still rises and it doesn't matter to the rest of them... but it matters to me.

"Lose Control", Missy Elliott
I gotta switch it up a little for my girl, Missy. There is not another female musician that has the kind of beats like Missy got. Everyone of her songs makes me wanna get up and shake my ass like a salt shaker. The reason I love this song so much is that it is so up beat that I am even typing faster right now, listening to it. Table dancing like a champ. You can't HELP but move to this shit. "Music make you lose control". That it do. Which is why I'm writing a blog about this shit - COUNT IT!
I also just realized that if I'm writing about hip hop, I start talking hip hop. "That it do", really? Ha. Wait until I talk about country music. I'll start writing with a Texas accent...

"She Is His Only Need", Wynonna Judd
This is just a sweet song. It reminds me a lot of my friend Andrew and a relationship he had back in the day. When my man, Andrew loves, he LOVES. Which is something that I really envy about him - because he's in it when he's in it. Nothing else matters. During this particular relationship, it was one of the first that meant something. And when I heard this song when this was starting for him, that immediately popped into my head and it fit. And knowing him and knowing where he was and hearing this song... it had such a connection to me that I have had this song in my song bank since. To me, this song spells out love - "Cause without her, where would he be/See it's not for him/she is his only need". That shit's deep.

"The First Day of My Life", Bright Eyes
Another song about love, it's the sweetest most simple love song I know. It's about that one day that you wake up and realize that everything is sweeter; that the sun is brighter, the trees are greener, that the grass is softer - all because you are in love with this one person and they love you back. Throwing all caution to a heartbreak, "I'd rather be working for a paycheck/than waiting to win the lottery", it's about just loving and being loved in return. If you've ever been in love, you know that as soon as that moment happens, as soon as you realize that it's real... man, there is nothing else. "As if I just woke up".

"They Looked Like Strong Hands", Bayside
Everyone puts on a front at some point. "They Looked So Strong" is just about that - it's about them being what is expected of them. "This isn't who I am/from confidence to self-doubt/in 60 seconds/storming stages and stereos". From the outside looking in, it always looks better. It's the trying to look from the inside out and thinking it's the same is the issue. That self-conscious being that lives in all of us is a lot stronger than we'd like to admit. And if we think that THAT person is the one everyone is seeing, eff a bunch of that! It's like a lemon pretending to be a grapefruit - no matter how close skin color could be, nigga you're still a little guy. "I look so strong/when the weight of all the world/don't take it's toll". Dig it.

"Let's Go Crazy", Prince
It is definitely party time. This was written about Y2K, but could absolutely be used for every other world-ending phenomenon since 1996 - INCLUDING 2012. Promoting getting "crazy" since we're all gonna die anyway, this song lights a fire under you to throw caution to the wind and even though shit happens, well, let's go crazy. It's all ending anyway. Why spend time upset about some shit when we could spend the last days "going crazy" and having fun. And the ending guitar solo.... makes a nigga wanna throw up the two finger hand.

"Falling Apart", Travis Muscatell
"Maybe it's I'm crazy/maybe it's because I can't honestly tell you what I want". About love strained because of inner demons - this song is kind of the counter part to the "First Day of My Life". It's about the self loathing part of feeling that kind of love. Shit sometimes ends because of inner turmoil. No, it's not fair, but the truth hurts. What this song does is allows it to be expressed outside instead of in. And NOT just because he's one of my best friends, his voice portrays that with such feeling that it's almost too much to bare. listen to the live version of him (every Monday at Dino's in NRH - ahem) and it'll water your eyes for sure. Just saying.

There are about a billion other songs that are in queue right now to discuss but rather than explain my entire catalog to you, I'll let it be for now. But best believe there will be more of these. You don't have to look these songs up. Just suggestions out of my favorites.

What am I kidding, yes you do. You will be tested.

Until next time...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Birthdays Are Awesome

Yea, I know - it's been awhile. My apt back home doesn't have internet and I'd get shot if I try to do this at work so you take what you can get, damnit. Get off me.

I'm just kidding, please keep reading.

So my birthday was pretty rockin'. We'll start from the beginning:
The flight home was a little rough but in a good way. When I got to the airport in Mumbai, I was really excited to start celebrating. Technically, at that time, it was already my birthday here so I wanted to party hard. I couldn't get through security fast enough. Which point #1, I'm NEVER leaving here on a Friday ever again. Eff that. Too many damn people. Everywhere. Anyway, while I was in line, a little kid was on my ASS the entire time. Her AND her mama. I'm like, "Back back, back back - give me 50 feet". They wouldn't get off me - straight trippin - so I started swaying back and forth so that if they didn't get off me, they'd get hit by my backpack. Worked for awhile... until the little girl got too close and I knocked her down. I'm just saying - not my fault. Get off me.
Finally got through and hit up the Lufthansa Lounge where I sat on Facebook for 3 hours and drank wine. Partly because the beer here sucks, partly because I wanted to go to sleep on the first leg so I didn't have to the second. Mission accomplished.
Got to the Frankfurt lounge got myself cleaned up. I learned from my first trip that if I didn't pack a shirt in my carry on, I'd smell like feet and onion the whole flight back to the US. Once I got on the plane, though... all hell broke lose. Hey... it's my birthday. Started automatically with the predeparture champagne, and then Jack and Seven after that.... all 11 hours on the way home. Until they ran out and then rum and coke. Yes, I went a little overboard. But it's my 30th birthday and I was alone. Don't judge me. It got so bad that once they brought around the duty free catalog, I went crazy and bought a carton of cigarettes and some cologne I've never even heard of - JUST because I didn't want to be "that guy" and buy just a carton of cigarettes.
Had a grand ol' time that day - dinner with B, and then we went to see a Mustang America reunion show where my man, Travis, asked his wonderful girlfriend, Amanda, to be his lobster. Real sweet.
And real hammered. If you didn't get the picture of me on the way home, I'm sure you can ask the guy next to you because apparently, Bryan sent it to everyone and their mama.

The next weekend was our joined birthday party - Bryan, Troy and I had loads of fun! So many people!!! Great to see some folks I hadn't seen in awhile and a lot of fun hanging with everyone at Mac's. And let's just paybacks a bitch because I DO have Bryan's picture of his ride home. Just saying.

The next week was work. And lots of it. Didn't do much but hang with cool people and have fun while I could.

Yesterday, the team here went for a day trip to Elephanta Island - or we tried to, anyway. We left the hotel in a driver from the hotel that was going to spend the entire day with us, wherever we wanted to go. All we had to do was tell him.... but apparently we had to tell him in Hindi because this fool did NOT speak English that well. And really didn't have that good of a sense of direction either. I mean, I don't know, but as a driver who is driving around 4 Americans, that MAY should be a requirement. We got to the port where they told us that because of the "cyclone", they weren't running boats to the island. Cyclone? Really? What, are we in Kansas? So we decide to walk around the Gateway of India anyway and noticed some folks by the port. And after the people up front say, "it's too dangerous to go", this fool down by the port was like, "y'all niggas want a ride" because he was OBVIOUSLY running his boat. And we got on.
Yea. Smart ones.
Now, it is not to say I don't have a sense of adventure - I think I do. But when they aren't running boats up front and this dude is just taking money and putting you on a boat, I may get a little weary - call me stupid. We get on and go up top to the deck where the water is so choppy, I everyone of us almost fell 9 times getting from one end to the other. We sit for awhile and the "captain", who coincidentally is wearing a scarf on his head - looked like a dark ass pirate - comes up and we take off. I'd like to point out that if this had been America, we'd have had 4 people make announcements and signs EVERYWHERE about how not to stand too close to the edge, to hold on to the railings while walking, and blah blah blah. But nope. Not here. Here, they were like, "y'all niggas ready to go"? And we took off. Pretty cool trip - started raining and felt awesome. Went to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch and had a burger. It so happened to be Mexican Fiesta celebration. Go figure with me and Stephen there. Ha.

I have 3 weeks left here on my "last" trip. I say "last" because I will be coming back, I just don't know when. But this is my last scheduled trip anyway. I'm going to make the most of it and try not to lose my mind waiting to get home. It's been a pretty trying week at work. So bad that last night, I decided that when I got home, I'm going to quit my job and open a bar. I've been wanting to do that forever so may as well start now, right?!
We also know that I'm a pathological liar so we'll see how far this goes. It'd be effing nice, though. Kind of a dream job.... We'll see.

Until next time...

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Birthday Suit and Thai

So this past weekend, my colleagues and I decided to take a little trip to Bangkok, Thailand. We figured we were already this far into Asia, why not take that leap to the other side of the Bay and hit up another Asian city. Just to get away from all the work stuff and whatnot. Let's just say.... success.
Let me first of all just say that I am REALLY glad I was traveling with white folks. During the days proceeding and even the morning of, Josh and Scott were talking about all the research they had done and looking up the area and finding stuff for us to do and stuff. Research? Really? I was just hopping on a plane and seeing where the plane took me. I hadn't done NONE of that shit. That's why they make movies like The Hangover and Hostile about niggas like me. Just saying.
If you know me and "vacation" time, when I break... fool, I BREAK! I start drinking as soon as the day starts, don't wear underwear, I starting eating cheese and shit - nigga, I'm WILD! So as soon as I got all ready and packed, I headed downstairs to the hotel bar and waited for the other two to get ready. Only had one.... I'm not sure if I'm ready for my boss to see the alcoholic in me yet.
The flight only took 4 hours and the seats came equipped with screens so that we could play games and watch movies and whatnot. Flight even came with a meal service and free drinks. Already! Food wasn't too bad but the wine was better. Watched two movies in between getting up from my seat every time the Indian with the bladder of a 3 year old had to get up. At one point, he tried to get over me without me getting up by stepping over me... hold up, dude. That' ain't happening. Not trying to have a grown ass man straddling me on a plane just so he can urinate. I'll stand, thanks.
Once we find our way through the airport, trying to get into the right lines and whatnot, we finally make it out to the line of cabs waiting and I thought I was in The Fast and the Furious Part 6: Bangkok Boogie. EVERYONE of the cabs were brightly painted, neon running lights, and techno music blaring. We found one and he was concerned with how many bags we had... because his truck had his speaker system in it and it wasn't going to fit too many bags. Really, dude? I can't fit my luggage 'cause you got 2 carpeted speaker boxes back there and your amp? Nice. On the way to the hotel, he busted out his tv screen so that we could, apparently, watch his favorite Thai soap opera. At one point, he started laughing so we started laughing at him and I swear that fool thought we understood what happened. All I understood is that something happened and they started playing the cartoon "wha-wha" when something bad happens.
The hotel was REAL bad ass. All the up until we got to the front desk and noticed that the dude at reception had a Wayne's World 2 eye... Where you didn't want to stare, but couldn't help trying to find out what the eff he was looking at and with which eye... swaying back and forth to see which one followed you.... damn.
I'm going to hell.
Our first night on the time was AWESOME! Started out with dinner with Scott and the Josh and I hit up the night life. Bar after bar after bar after go-go bar. Sat at one bar and, in true Thai fashion, a girl comes up to talk to Buckley. She ends up hanging out with us all night. We'll call her the "tour guide". Showing us the ins and outs of the area and which were the "lady boys" and which weren't. SO glad she was there for that one... That shit can be really confusing. That's all I say about that...
After the bars closed, she said there was a club still open around the block. So. In true drunk fashion, J Buck and I hit up a club at 2am. Dancing and shit? I thought I was 18 again. Except afterward when I tried to walk out and my freaking legs were sore. Oh yea. You're 30...
Oh. And white people are funny. You know what means. Just saying.
There was a diner right outside the club so we stopped in for food. Hello, early morning hamburger. Some of the tour guide's friends joined us for a bit. I don't know if it was just a bad accent or my drunkeness, or the fact that it was 4:30am, but I have NO idea what one of them was saying. I think her name was "Puta". And when Josh and I started laughing, no one understood why. All I know is that she ate all my damn fries and kept saying, "I hungy! I hungy".
Ok lady. Whatever you say.
Quotes of the night:
"One of those street vendors had crabs."
"Thai hoes really help your self esteem"
Saturday, we went shopping during the day and hit up the same spot at night. Josh, again, got hit up by some random STUPID whore. We had to leave there before she pulled his penis out there at the bar and went to town. After that, went to one of the coolest shows in Thailand. It was weird seeing the people that were there, too. Mostly American. Including this one dude with a t-shirt on, shorts pulled up to his chin, and some of the raddest kicks ever! This fool was REAL confused. We took way too many shots, bought ping pong balls to throw at the girls on stage (really degrading, and I'm ashamed of myself for doing it... but DAMN it was fun), and then someone tried to be a jackass and my glasses got knocked off my face and broke. But after all the shit WE did, if that's all that happened... ha. That shit was tight...
Sunday was spent shopping again. At the mall, though, we ran across a restaurant called the Sunrise Taco - Authentic Mexican Food.
So of course we ate there and of course this authentic mexican wasn't having it. Did enjoy the margarita, though. Rice was terrible, tortillas were old, and the salsa tasted like Pace. Pft.
We sadly made our way to the airport around 6pm via train. We drug ass trying to get through security, and even more so boarding the plane. SUCH a fun city we didn't want to leave.
The plane ride back to Mumbai was crap from the beginning. I had another aisle seat and the people walking by KEPT hitting me. There was even this one dude who was trying to let someone by and kept shoving his fat belly in my face. I mean BAD! I felt a little violated. I think he was trying to get fresh. I got hit with the food cart twice. The dude behind me made me pull my seat up because he couldn't eat. (Fatty McGee didn't need to eat anyway). And the dude in front of me had the most RIDICULOUS reclining chair that I thought that nigga was in my lap. Saving grace was that I was sitting next to two English chicks that were pretty cool. We played Who Wants to be A Millionaire for most of the trip.... they were WAY smarter than I... me.... I.... whatever.

Back in Mumbai for another week and then I'll be home this Saturday for my birthday (hint, hint). Going to see Travis and Zuriel's show with special guest, Alan Shields. "Getting the band back together", as T would put it. Ha. It'll be good times. Having the big bday party with Bryan and Troy next weekend at Mac's. You should DEFINITELY hit that up. It's time to turn 30 in style. I may even take a shot or two. We'll see.

Until next time....

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wax On, Wax Off

Well hello there, folks! It's been a minute.
I spent the past two weeks at home doing the home things and it was awesome. I'm currently sitting in bed, trying to decide what's worse, waxing on... or waxing off....

I left here EARLY, believe it or not. I was sitting in a meeting Thursday afternoon when the bossman mentioned that he usually flies out early FRIDAY morning, as opposed to Saturday morning. Which got me thinking.... did that ticket say 8 or 9? So during the meeting, I look up the email I received with the flight information on it and ask myself... What's today? Holy crap! Apparently, I can't read time vs date and realize I leave Mumbai in about 8 hours! Yay and holy shit all at the same time! I haven't packed jack and I'm so anxious to leave, I KNOW I'm going to forget something. I rush to my room and pack the entire thing in about 45 minutes while drinking the bottle of vodka I had bought the weekend before. Not too shabby, but too small of a bottle. Dug into the bottle of whiskey and realized why that shit was so cheap. Tasted like dirty tea water. Had A glass and gave the rest to J Buck as a gift.
The flight to Frankfort was non-existent. Slept the ENTIRE way. Even had a middle seat but didn't care much because the only time I got up was to gather my things and head to the terminal. Got the the Lounge and noticed something. What the eff was that awful smell??? And then I realized.... that awful smell was coming from me. I smelt like I had run a 5k in my button up, swam in the Trinity River, and then ate dirty towels. I wouldn't even sit next to me if I had to. Thank the Lord someone advised me to put a shirt in my carry-on that I DIDN'T take out in India as a precaution for such an occasion. Changed into a t-shirt that was a tad too small but DIDN'T care because it smelled like detergent rather than lake water.
Got home at 2:30pm and looked like poop. My long ass hair was all curled up like a baby turd, my pants were a wrinkled mess, my eyes looked like I hadn't slept in 6 weeks (probably cause I HADN'T) but the grin on my face took the place off all of that. Spent the night with B and Nathan and Travis and Amanda, Sherlocks style. Already....
Saturday was spent at a bday party for the famous Christy Beaver a.k.a Coco on the Radio. Had a blast and WAY too much to drink. Ended the night with a Christy/Roger emotional talk as always. So awesome.
Most of the rest of the week was spent moving into, what I'm told, is an adult apartment. Bigger, more expensive, and WAY nicer than any of my others. I actually have adult art on the wall (I mean pictures, not naked people) and matching furniture and shit. It's wild. I DO, however, have my music room that looks tight as hell. All it needs now are instruments. (Hint hint... bday coming soon. Just saying).
Spent the first part of the week moving me in and the rest moving Bryan in. Which made for an AWESOME week of workout but still look an Ethiopian after a bowl of rice. Stupid stomach issues....
Went to Austin the following weekend to celebrate my boy's bday with Andrew. Andrew and I hadn't done that in so long, it was pretty bad ass to catch up and actually talk on the way there. Stopped for some beef jerky and got pretty effing hammered while we were down there. Started early, ended late, and that's all that mattered. I did drink enough to eat pizza that night. And I'm STILL paying for it now. No lie. This ulcerative proctitis ain't no joke. Good times either way. The way back was a lot quieter than the way down there. Could have been because of Mr Hangover, but hey... whatever. Good times.
Had a nice break from the Indian life. Got to eat some stuff I know what it consists of, got to hang out with some awesome people, sing some karaoke, drive my car, and hang out with some awesome people. Did I say that already?
Arrived back in Mumbai early Monday morning. Slept just a tad and headed to the new work schedule: 2pm to 12am. Eeek... less dranking time for THIS nigga. That's ok. May be good for me. Or I could get really pissed at people and cut someone.
Eh. We'll see.

To get a little serious on that ass....
I've been thinking lately about how stupid I can be. One of those, I know what I'm doing wrong and I keep doing it. Why? Because it feels good for about 10 minutes and then I feel like running into a patch of cacti naked with a boner. Which brings the question: wax on? Or wax off?
Waxing on:
Doing what I've been preaching for the past almost 10 years of my life - do whatever makes you happy because no one else will. Only YOU know what it is that makes you happy; that makes you smile; that makes you wanna sing show tunes in the privacy of your own room. So I'd say do it! Do whatever peels your potato; whatever floats your turd; whatever yanks your chain; whatever fries your bologna. Because ultimately, we don't have a lot of time here and you may as well be smiling while you're here. The only problem with that is, when you do whatever makes YOU happy, you have to realize the consequences. Whatever makes YOU happy doesn't always make other people happy. It doesn't always coincide with other people's feelings or emotions. And that can sometime be dangerous and hurtful and malicious. And who wants that kind of karma? It's like eating a bowl of beans before a road trip: sure it is delicious and filling but what comes next? You're in a car with 4 people and no one can breathe for 3 hours because SOMEONE had to eat the musical fruit. Not fair. But so what? You had fun...
So what next? Wax off....
Do what makes you happy for 10 minutes? Or realize that the 10 minutes of happiness you're feeling now doesn't even COMPARE to the days of anger and frustration you'll feel afterward? Realizing that your actions now will only be reflected in the things that are to come later - THAT'S the ticket. Knowing that whatever you decide to do now may suck so bad, it feels like eating pizza with an intestinal problem (HELLO!), but when its over, you still feel good enough to keep on trucking. And maybe... just maybe... the next time it comes around, you'll be just a little bit stronger to move on. Because you know what, that long lasting, tastes so good you'll slap your mama, blissful, beautiful peace you feel when you DON'T do it anymore is WAY better than those 10 minutes. Those 10 minutes are like a fat girl eating a Mini M&M-you know a lot more would be great, but its going to take a LOT of Minis to equal the feeling you feel when you can walk up on a curb and not start sweating. You know what I'm saying?
Wax on all you want to, baby... but waxing off? That's for me, nigga.

Until next time....

Monday, July 4, 2011

I Still Hate Kids

Oh man. Last weekend here before I get to home. And what a good one.

Friday after work, we went to Hard Rock Cafe - Mumbai, by way of TGIFridays. Ha. Margarita after margarita, joke after joke, chicken wing after chicken wing, it was pretty fun. By the time we got to Hard Rock, I was just a little bit tipsy. So we did it up right and ordered a Jack and seven and a shot of some sort. Tasted like I Vicks, but hey - I had a cold anyway. The music was FANTASTIC and the entertainment wasn't far behind. At one point, they gathered every employee in the place - bartenders, waiters, chefs, and door guys - and had them get up on the wall and do the YMCA. Now... I know this isn't America, but it makes me wonder if they really think we still do that there. The last time I've seen anyone do the YMCA, I was hiding a boner in my Jordache jeans, watching my fellow junior high students dance around. (Whom am I kidding - I had to look up how to even spell Jordache. My shit was cheaper than... well, a pair of Jordache jeans in 2011) When we left there, the lot of us, except for our driver, was pretty effing hammered. So much so that a certain accompanying party, who shall remain nameless, unprofessionally got off on the wrong floor. But that's neither here nor there...

Saturday, J Buck and I went back to R City Mall where I continued to search for shoes that met my needs. If you know me, I'm a ridiculously picky person - a lot of the times, to my own demise. Buying shoes just adds to this. I have to have a certain style, shape, color, and design. And if I can't find it, I'll continue to wear the same shoes I've been wearing for the past 19 years. Which, if you've seen my shoes now, you know I'm not kidding. The ones I wear daily now I didn't even buy - I got them from Marco and I effing love them. I have been eyeing them since HE bought them so when he asked if I wanted them, I pretty much yanked them out of his hand and put them on immediately. It didn't help that when I asked about some shoes that I almost wanted, the sales guy had no idea what the heck I was asking. I asked if they had these certain shoes in any other color, he said, "just black". And I don't want black shoes because I already HAVE black shoes. I wanted some other color. So I put them back. And he says, "How about these?". I said, "No, I don't want black". And he picks up another pair and says, "maybe these?" I said, "No, I don't really want black". After he picked up every black pair of shoes on the wall, I ended up just walking away before I slapped him with the pair of black shoes I WAS ALREADY WEARING. Anyway, I ended up buying more socks and no shoes. Eh.
I also bought wall art for my soon to be music room in my new apartment. It's going to be effing bad ass. Just wish they weren't so freaking expensive. I don't like spending money on crap like that. AND, as before, if you've seen my crappy furniture, you know it's true. Either hand-me-down or bought cheaply, I don't spend money on material goods. I spend my money on things that mean something. Like alcohol. Speaking of, I bought a bottle of vodka called White Mischief. Ha. Awesome.
Hey. It makes memories. Don't judge me.
We went to eat at the Rainforest again - where I realized that the waitstaff does NOT speak English. Again, they thought I spoke Hindi and I ended up just getting whatever drink they THOUGHT I wanted instead of what I ordered. I'm not sure if I've EVER gotten anything I've ordered since I've been here. I just end up agreeing to whatever they want to give me and roll with it. Which reminds me... I'm hungry....

Sunday, we got pretty bored so we went to hang out at Chili's. Where I have come to realize that I still hate kids.
First of all, the waiter comes up and says, "Hi, mine name is Chris".
Naw, nigga. It's not. I promise.
As we were sitting there enjoying another drink that didn't satisfy my needs, they started setting up for a party. With balloons. Which meant, little rugrats were about to invade the one place I could feel like I was at home. As the small little shits started piling it, the balloons started bursting. Probably by mistake at first, but damnit... that mess was on purpose towards the end. Now, you can't be sending me to a foreign country, that JUST had a terrorist attack a couple of months before, pop some motherf'ing balloons behind me, and not expect me to freak out a little bit. And to add to it, it was by little ankle biting, curtain climbers that kept running around the restaurant like they were at grandma's house. I swear I was about to trip one of them.
Disclaimer: if you are reading this and you have kids, let me clarify. I like my friend's kids. One, because they are my friend's kids. Two, because I can go home. And three, because I can go home. They're usually cute - I don't hang out with ugly people - and well behaved. But once I get around some little fools that ain't got no manners, I want to slap their mamas.
Also at this Chili's, I notice a table across from us that has sent their food back 3 times. All because the bitch was complaining about EVERYTHING and the dude had to deal with it. I could tell that he had a problem with her complaining as well because they started arguing once "Chris" left. To the point where after they finally got something sufficient enough to eat, she sat there pouting while he ate it. This is why I hate bitches. I wanted to shake her until her stupid frown fell off and I could step on it. Felt sorry for the guy. But... he's still with her so. Whateva, nigga.

Today is the 4th of July. And if you're wondering, no. There was no fireworks show here in Mumbai. Unless you count the fire that started from my air conditioner. Burn marks on the wall and all. Hole in the curtains. Awesome. All I have to be thankful for is the power probably went out and it stopped the fire. Ha. Find that silver lining somewhere.

I'll be home on Saturday!! Celebrating Christy's bday in Ft Worth Saturday night and having a typical Sunday with B before I move into my new apt on Monday and Tuesday. I am retarded excited about all of that. I'm gonna be one hungry, smelly, smiling son of a bitch around 3pm on Saturday. HOLLA!!

Until next time....

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Went down to dinner tonight by myself to enjoy some delicious (or lack there of) dinner food.
Tonight was apparently bar food night. They had wings, fish sticks, and a bunch of other shit I can't pronounce nor will I taste.

I started out with the cream of chicken soup - which was more like water with "chicken" pieces soup. It had an alright flavor, but should have been in cardboard box labeled "chicken stock" than in a bowl. Of COURSE, I had the chicken wings. Chicken wings are my favorite food in the world. If chicken wings approached me to do a commercial for them, I wouldn't even charge. "I'd do it for free, chicken!" (Thanks DC). Except... these chicken wings were Indian chicken wings and tasted like every other Indian dish I've eaten in the past 5 weeks. I had 2 and stopped. And a tear dropped my eye...
They also had fish sticks. Which, from what I remember as a kid, were a step above Fisherman's Best. Next to the fish sticks was something they called, "Fish Mexican". I was confused. I thought mexican fish WAS the fish sticks. "Fish Mexican"? They must have known I was eating there tonight. Awful sweet of them. It was pieces of "fish", wish tomato sauce and some peppers and such. Not bad, but I'm not sure what kind of "fish" it was. I think it was more, "hey there's some stuff at the bottom of the box of fish sticks so lets add something to it and call it mexican". Ain't that a...
So there I was, enjoying my "delicious" dinner when some dude sits at the table next to me. He's obviously likes the Indian food a lot more than I do because dude was smacking away like he was 7 years old eating some Apple Jacks. Fool was smacking so hard, I thought he was doing the naughty under the table. I was afraid to look. Of course I did.
I'll move one.

After finishing my one and only plate, I was sitting enjoying my beer and my burnt-to-a-crisp esophagus, when I noticed that each and every waiter on staff had one eyebrow. I wonder if that's a requirement on the application. Like, I'm pretty sure they found out how to get to Sesame Street, these Bert and Ernie looking motherf'ers. It was wild.

And then, someone's phone rang. And I'm not talking a regular cell phone ring, it was the EXACT ring from the T-Mobile commercial back in the day.
And then another. Same ring tone.
And then another. Same ring tone, EXCEPT the acoustic version. Apparently, VodafoneIndia doesn't allow ringtone downloads.

And if one more fool tries to speak Hindi to me, I'm going to speak pig latin back. Two can play that game. I would give anything for someone to try and speak spanish to me right now. That I can handle.

Now I'm back in my room, answering emails and browsing that Facebook mess. Geez, this place is boring. It's like watching Bob Ross paint happy trees, but less exciting. I'd rather be fishing... in the toilet. As a matter of fact....

Until next time...

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Well That Was Different

Talk about a week!! Holy crap, that was different.
Work week was frustrating as HELL. Stuff with information, with people that I work with, with just being here for a full month now - I wanted to eat a packet of Pop Rocks and drink a Coke and hope the myth was true. Was looking FORWARD to the weekend and now that the weekend is over, for good reason.

Went to happy hour on Friday after work in Bandra - another suburb of Mumbai. The place was called Red Box and I'm not really sure why. It went from being a restaurant to being a night club. There was even a dj... if you could call him that. We watched him "work" the night - partly, because his equipment was next to the waiter station. He was like, "let me play this song and order you a mojito at the same time". Oh, but he played the part. No doubt. Dude was all douched out with his headphones on one ear and shiny shirt and WAY too loud jeans. But it was funny because every time a song would change, fool was talking to a waiter or eating something. Not sure which cd he downloaded his mixes from but they weren't bad... pretty sure I can get the cd myself, though.
Chilled there for awhile and took the LONG ride home. By the time we got here, everyone had sobered up and gotten real sleepy so it was an early night. Eh. It's Friday. Go figure.

Saturday, we went to the mall down the street from the office. Really nice mall. Except for the fact that each and every store was a mimic of North Park Mall. We went into several stores looking for clothes to buy. If you know me, I don't shop for clothes often at all. I'm still sporting shit I bought in high school - and that's real talk. The only time I go shopping for new clothes is either at Halloween when I'm buying my costume or when I have a date and want to look good. And the last time I had a date, I'm pretty sure Clinton was still in office. But that's neither here nor there...
Since I was in a new mall in a new city, I was looking to splurge and buy some new jeans or something. Looking more to fall into the Gap, and ended up falling into Jersey Shore. Couldn't buy JACK in this mall. Until I went to Planet M - a Traders Village version of Sam Goode. This fool went CRAZY in there. Bought 38 DVDs and a couple of cds. Even got to the point of buying Aladdin... yea... went there. Apparently, I was looking for a whole new world.
Felt bad about myself for not buying clothes so we went to Pepe Jeans and I grabbed two shirts right next to each other and a packet of socks and checked out. It wasn't until I got to dinner that I realized that one of the shirts I bought was sparkly. Pft. Great. Using it at a under shirt is going to be great.
There was another store there called Big Bizaar. Which is a smaller version of Big T Bizaar. This place had EVERYTHING. I could buy pasta, cotton swabs, a teddy bear, an iron, and a pair of shoes right next to some fresh fruits. Outside of Walmart, this place was the shit. Except when someone tried to speak Hindi to me. Go figure...
Then time for dinner. Went to Rainforest... with was ALMOST Rainforest Cafe, minus the little kids and the store at the front. Expensive as shit! But REALLY good times. And then the waiter tried to speak Hindi to me... After dinner is when shit got real. After 8 hours at this damn mall, we caught a rikshaw to the hotel. Which probably wasn't a good idea since we bought half the mall. Our combined weight with bags was around 830 lbs. Which meant the rikshaw was STRUGGLING to make it. We made that niggas Check Engine light come one. That's how we roll. Got back to the hotel and I had to head to the bar. Can't stop, won't stop. P Diddy ain't got Jack (Daniels) on me.

Sundays are usually uneventful 'round these parts. Except today, Mark wanted to go and buy a guitar so we went into town and tried to find one. The place was pretty cool, but on the way back, the car that we were rolling in broke down. I'm talking DIED. No power whatsoever. Had to push that hoe to the other side of the street. Almost died twice, but hey. Whatever. We tried to find a taxi to take us back but with 475 people trying to do the same, it wasn't so easy. I ended up chilling on the side of the road, holding the guitar, smoking a cigarette. It was effing awesome. Finally got ANOTHER rikshaw and piled three grown ass men in a 3 ft bench seat. Sweating like Aretha Franklin walking 10 feet. Sticky and smelling like four day old peanut butter and jelly, we went into a bar. That was WILD! It was in a basement and called the Enigma Lounge. DJ was AWESOME and the drinks were ok. And then the waiter spoke Hindi to me...

So now, after a LONG ride home, I'm sitting in bed about to pass out. Laundry is done, work in the morning, 2 weeks left of my original journey, and hoping to hear from my friend soon. It's been a hell of a week but loads of fun. And. Well. Different.

Until next time...

Friday, June 17, 2011


I could masterbate on the streets here in India and not get judged. That's how free this place is. Count it.

I've come to realize that the difference between home and this place is that the people here are more "free" than any group of people I've ever seen. Even more free than the bitches I've seen walk into Mac's and walk out with someone. That's real talk.
The things I've seen here in the past three weeks is the most amazing things I've ever seen in my 30 years on the third rock from the sun. I'm not talking about how cheap things are - I've been living off of the same $200 I came with. I'm not talking about how the company paid for me to get here and live. I'm talking about how Americans can be the most arrogant, self-assured people on the planet.
Tell me that someone in Arlington can walk out the door and pee on the side of the road without judgement from people like me who see it and think they're dirty but no one else would. Tell me that someone in Texas can walk up and down the middle of the street and only get a honk from a moving car, making sure you don't walk in front of it and get hurt. Tell me someone in Dallas you can wear the same shirt, 35 days in a row, buttoned down to the third button, showing all sorts of smelly body hair and no one but ME will judge you on the smell of onions and corn chips when you walk in.
I took video of my way to work the other day finally.
If you notice at the beginning, there is a dude in white, relieving himself on the side of the road. it is 8 in the morning, folks. Eight. Which either means he is a G and has a penis the size of a ficus tree or he doesn't care who's watching. That nigga is free. And letting it go freely. All out in the open like "the world is my urinal". That's what I'm talking about. I get nervous peeing at freaking Boomer Jacks in a trough! My only saving grace there is melting the ice. And this fool pulled over his rickshaw and let it all hang out and just went, man. If that ain't free, I'm not a mexican with bad credit.
We, as Americans, have lived in the microwave age for so long that we demand results right away. The people here are so un-time aware that I'm the only one in the room wearing a watch. And I bought this hoe from a fool on the side of the road who OBVIOUSLY didn't worry about time. He didn't worry about time so much that the second hand on my watch is slower than Tom Cruise realizing that he is a homosexual.
Rode down the street the other day and came upon a young man and his sister sitting on the side of the road. Something was odd about what they were doing so I just kept watching. As we came upon them in the wild driven hotel cap, I noticed that the little man was playing with his "little man" on the side of the road as the little girl watched.
Now. You can't tell me that if some little nigga was on the side of the road in Ft Worth, tugging at his Vienna sausage wouldn't get arrested for that mess. If I can't live in a world where some dude can't discover that touching his one-eyed pleasure snake makes him giggle, then I just don't want to live. Hell, his pecker with bigger than mine! Who knew.

Anywayz... with a "z".

I'm now at the hotel, drinking the $100 bottle of Jack with 7 Up. I would say "don't judge me", but I know better. Shit is free at the hotel!

Until next time...

Friday, June 10, 2011

India or bust

So this time last summer, I was sitting in a BADASS apartment in Denver, Co, wishing I was back home with every part of my being. I hated leaving home, even though I was only a 2 hour flight away. I wasn't that Denver was a bad city - it really was kind of fun. It was just that I wasn't at home hanging out with my friends.
Oh, how the times have changed. Today I'm sitting in an empty apartment in Powai, India - 8,829 miles away from home... and I'm ok. No, I'm not sleeping much. And to be honest, I'm even impressed with MYSELF on that one. It's not that I'm not trying - I really am lying in bed in the dark trying to sleep. It just ain't happening. But I've still doing work at the office, I'm still hanging out with my new bartender friend and still able to be up and answer emails/texts in the middle of the night slash middle of the day in Texas. Yup. I'm pretty bad ass.
Or stupid. Eh. That's neither here nor there.

Maybe it's because I've finally grown up a little. Maybe it's because I'm being forced to be here or be unemployed. Maybe it's because I like curry. (No. That's NOT it.) But I'm really not having a bad time here. I'm getting to teach some pretty cool people about the system I've been drowning in for the past 2 years. And I'm getting to experience an ENTIRELY different culture while getting paid for it. Can a brotha get an amen?? Well well. You KNOW a mexican ain't one to give up some free shit. I'm talkin' 'bout so cheap, we wouldn't spend a lovely evening.

I will say this: The weather here blows harder than Kim Kardashian at an NBA game. It's hot, humid, and hot, and sticky, and hot. My hair hates it. Just saying. I'm looking more and more like there are spiders having a meeting on my head. Whats worse is that I said I wouldn't get a hair cut until I get back home... in 4 weeks. It's only been 2 and I'm already looking like Wilmer Valderrama. We'll figure it out. I just hope my trainees don't think this is what I look like on a normal basis. Like, I walk in and they think I wake up in the morning and do this shit to my head on purpose. Like I went to the Einstein School of Hair.

Along with the weather being terrible, the traffic here is RIDICULOUS!! We are only about 15 min from the office and it took 2 effing hours to get home yesterday. At one point, we were sitting still for so long, everyone started getting out of their cars and walking. I thought I was in an REM video. I thought a nigga was about to get subtitles.

J Buck got here today. Which means one of two things: I'm either going to FINALLY go out on the town and see what kind of trouble I'm going to get into, or I'm gonna spend too much time with him and turn into a douche. Either way, it should be interesting. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with some of the people of India and seeing what professional level they're on. I'm sure I'm WAY more professional, but that's neither here nor there.

Faith is not knowing what's going to be, but knowing what's going to be will be ok. Write that shit down. Twice. Cause Jack Daniels is kicking in and I won't remember. But that's neither here nor there.

Until next time...

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Oops. I'm Fat.

So just completed my first week in India. I smell like hell and my hair looks like shit and I'm not really having a bad time.
Training is going alright. I do realize that I could never be a teacher. Ever. In life. Some of these "grown ass adults" are acting like kids with ADHD at a light factory. I don't know if it's a language thing or a "I'm an idiot" thing. Either way, I hope they get this quick because I may have to break out a whip and treat them like Kunta Kinte. Your name ain't Toby, sir.
So apparently, the yearly monsoon is coming on Friday. And everyone thinks it's going to be beautiful. Now, I'm not sure, but I have never considered a effing hurricane "beautiful". Yea, rain is fun and all, but I'm not gonna get excited about a flood. Just saying. I'll just sit in my room and eat cookies and chips until it's over.
Damnit. I'm fat.

So the food in India sucks ass. I've never like Indian food and these fools just sent me to the one place that I can't eat jack shit. It's spicy and it all tastes the same - like spicy sweat. I've tried to find any kind of western food on the menu here at the hotel, but it STILL tastes like feet. Had peanuts at the bar and they STILL tasted like old onions and corn chips. I would kill to eat a quarter pounder from McDonald's. I'd even settle for a Taco Bell hard taco. And that ain't even beef!

Went to Chili's for happy hour yesterday. Their happy hour consists of a buy-one, get-one free... INCLUDING the Presidente margaritas. Holy India - that's the best idea I've ever heard. That's like having a party and charging at the door and people ACTUALLY paying to get in (yes, I remember you fuckers not paying but I'm over it so don't worry about it.... I'm fine.... just dandy.... I'll move on). The only thing they didn't have was food that I wanted to eat. Who would have thought that the Chili's in India wouldn't have good food. Especially since Chili's in America serves great food....
Yup. Still fat.

So as far as sleep goes, I've been missing it. Since I slept on Sunday when I got here, I've had all of 14 hours of sleep - until last night. Fourteen is 2 hours more than 12, in case you didn't know. That's less than the whole "Roots" series. And I say UNTIL last night. Last night, after Chili's, I proceeded to drink like I was Snoop Dogg and alcohol was marijuana. So when I got back to the hotel and found Scott sitting on the couch with 4 huge empty bottles of beer, I started tripping out. TV was on mute and he was on his laptop. Sat at talked to him for a bit, I think, and passed out. Woke up 12 hours later. Hell yes. Ambien what? Just get hammered. Works better and WAY more fun. Pretty sure I am on the right schedule now but it's still early so we'll see.

So we went to Mumbai today to see the city. It was pretty cool! Saw the Gateway to India, saw the ocean, saw some dirty people who sold me a watch, and a monkey. Pretty eventful. Went to a bar after shopping and of COURSE, I am going to buy a tshirt. Asked the waiter for one and says, "Extra large?" A little offended, I said, no - a large will do. He replies, "are you sure?". Yes, motherfucker, I'm sure! Just bring me my damn shirt. Geez. Didn't have the black one I wanted so I purchased it's yellow brother. Got home and realized that not only should I have taken the extra large, I should NOT have complained about it on Facebook because now I look like an idiot. I look like the sun's retarded, misshapen star brother from the Butterfinger Galaxy.
Fat ass.

I honestly tried to go work out the other morning before work - since I wasn't sleeping anyway - but the gym didn't open until 6:30am and that wasn't enough time to do that, take a shower, and catch breakfast before work. It's the most important meal of the day. Don't judge me.
I'm fat.

I know I complain a lot about being here but I'm seriously not having a bad time. It's definitely a culture shock but I'm really having fun. The bartender at the hotel bar is pretty cool and we've become friends a little. Imagine that. I'll be home soon enough, though, and have a Champps burger, a Whataburger with no onions or tomatoes, a quarter pounder with cheese from McDonald's, a steak from ANYWHERE, and fries. At the same time. All of it.
Oops. I'm fat.

Until next time....

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Too Fly For Mumbai

Just flew into India and boy are my arms tired!

So here I am in my hotel room in Powai, India - a suburb of Mumbai. The room isn't that bad, just a little different. There is a refrigerator and a stove and whatnot so that's good. The only odd thing is there is a sprayer in the bathroom next to the toilet.... that I can only imagine what it's for and how many people have used it before me... and how much I AM NOT going to even try to turn it on. The shower is pretty nice except for the fact that it is a glass door and the mirror is on the other side. I'm not sure if you have ever seen me take a shower, but it ain't pretty. Makes me want to cry on the inside a little.

The flight here was pretty nice. I got to ride Business Class. The seats reclined, got to watch how ever many different kind of movies I wanted, free drinks, and a SHIT ton of free food (provided by LSG Skychefs, thank you very much...). From DFW to Frankfurt was 8 hrs and 45 minutes. You KNOW a brotha can't sit still for more than 20 minutes so of course I got REALLY restless. Had to drink more before I started screaming. Didn't sleep much because the time difference messed me all up. When we landed in FRA, it was 9am. Oops... kinda missed the "sleeping through the night" thing. After a 4 hour layover, boarded for the big flight to Mumbai.
This is when it got scary...
I had NO idea what time it was in Frankfurt so keeping up with departure times was weird. As I sat in the waiting area, I started to realize that hey... you're going to India. And so are all these people. When they finally called us to board, I got a little to close and personal with some of these fools that LOVED to push and shove. I was about to beat this old dude's ass for trying to get up on me. And HAIRY!! Geez - this one nigga had more hair coming out of his ears than he did in his mustache. All these sweaty niggas trying to squeeze through this one little spot wasn't good nor did it smell that way. Just saying.
And of course the smelliest one was my seat partner on the plane. Nice guy, but not so nice smelling. I wanted to break out my cologne and start spraying myself just to help out, but I thought that would be rude and since I had to spend the next 8 hours with him, I figured I'd better be cool.
Finally landed in Mumbai around 1am. And the smell... oh boy. First impressions were it smelled like 1976. You know how you can stay in an old hotel and it still smells like someone should be walking around with an afro and a dashiki? Yea. Like that.
And then the smell of spice. To where it smells like someone should be cooking somewhere, you just can't really find the kitchen. But somewhere, all over the country, someone is cooking some spicy shit.
And then... sweat. Holy heat wave all year. The average temperature is around 84 degrees. That's ALL day. It don't get better when the sun goes down, it just gets less bright. Which means that without central AC ANYWHERE, these fools HAVE to be hot.

Finally after almost getting into a shoving match with the entire passenger count of the flight at the baggage claim, I believe I finally left the airport around 2:30am. Got into the van for the hotel and headed down the most horrifying ride ever. This beats riding back with Buckley from Houston. No street signs, no street lines, just a bunch of cars trying to get somewhere. As we drove down the street, I noticed that there were seriously about 732 stray dogs just chilling on the sides of the roads - who all looked like they were breed from the same mutt. Different colors, but GEEZ that bitch was a whore.

Unpacked, drank a beer, and took an Ambien. Guess that was a bad idea to do at 4:30am because I didn't wake up until 2pm. Got dressed and met Scott at the bar for a drink. We then took another ride to the market (thank the Lord we aren't driving here - nigga can't handle that pressure) and bought a bottle of Jack so I don't have to leave ever again. Day one is over now, just waiting for my room service and drinking some Jack.

This time difference things is tripping me out. Talked to B last night on my way here and he was just chillin because it was Saturday afternoon. What? I guess I have enough time to get used to it. Start the new schedule tomorrow so it should help with the odd feelings about being here and make the time pass faster. Really shouldn't be that bad - just hope to get out and see some shit without having to feel like I'm chillin in the back seat of a bumper car. Wish me luck!

Until next time....

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Summer Time Blues or Lack There Of

So if you haven't heard yet, I'll be in India this summer for work. Not necessarily the same as going to Denver, but hey... what can ya do. It's international travel and that's always cool. Just wish it was somewhere cool. They can't send me to London? I mean, can a brother go to Germany?? Nope. This brown boy is going to India. Leave at the end of May for 6 weeks and then back and forth for another 10. Let's discuss....

Our company is outsourcing our department so someone has got to go to India to train these people to learn what we do. My fear is that this is going to take a lot longer than we're anticipating - since our portion of this has taken a LOT longer than we anticipated.
But on the other hand, I will get to see some shit that I would have NEVER imagined seeing in my life. To be able to visit another country and stay for a long period of time, experiencing what they experience, seeing what they see, doing what they do is kind of exciting. I'll get to see Slum Dog Millionaire in person. Just saying. That's not racist, either. I'm brown - I can do that. I leave at the end of May so expect a "going away party" again - you know what WE do it.
Getting my passport was a nightmare. We're using an expediting service and it just makes it that much more of a hassle AND that much more expensive. It's pretty wild. I thought it was going to take an hour. Too bad it took 5. Don't even ask. And no, it's not because I'm an illegal. It's just because it's a hassle. Don't judge me.

I'll move on.

My nephew turned 21 in December. We finally got to hang out a couple of weeks ago and it was both odd and REAL fun. He came to stay on Sunday night and we spent Monday dranking like it was St Patrick's Day. I thought we was Irish. Went to Sherlocks Sunday night to watch the douche bags do their work. (I'll come back to that later.) We went to the Movie Tavern Sunday with Dav and his brother, Eric. Tankers like a champ. Stopped by Boomers on the way home for a couple. Came home for a minute and went BACK to Boomers for a couple more with B and Nathan. Stopped by Chic-Fil-A and took him to my home away from home... Mac's Tavern. That's when I realized that this nigga is DEFINITELY a professional-in-training. He's almost there... just not quite. Fool started talking gibberish at Mac's and then tried to burn my apartment down by putting foil in the microwave when we got home. I patted him on the head and went to bed. Don't judge me - this fool had to work the next morning.

Speaking of douche bags, what the hell is the deal with all of them buying clothes from the same sparkly shirt store? Why does everything have to be so shiny?? I went to Sherlocks the other day and after I looked around, I thought they bought a mirror ball for the bar. I mean, there was so much spiky hair in the place, I thought Aqua Net was sponsoring a reunion tour. So many dragons, I thought it was the Japanese New Year. So many wallet chains, I thought Rhianna was doing her "S&M" video shoot. Of course, all I could do was sit in my chair and make fun of everyone. It's what I do. Don't judge me.

Got a new phone finally. It's the new Windows 7 phone from LG. In the commercial, they claim it's the phone that "saves you from your phone". What they DON'T tell you is that it's the phone that saves you from watching what the fuck you're doing because you're ALWAYS ON YOUR PHONE! I've run into so much shit, ridden the elevator to so many unnecessary floors, looked like a HUGE nerd sitting at a table by myself staring at my phone, it's ridiculous. It's so bad ass, though. I can do everything! The only crappy part is that the battery life on it sucks anus. Maybe because I spend so much time texting/googling/playing Spell it/playing Speed, that the fucker can't keep up. I have to keep my charger in the car just in case. But hey, it's saving me from myself... so it says. Don't judge me.

BIG congrats to Sarah and Jason who tied the not a couple of weeks ago. Pretty awesome wedding. We kind of took over the whole thing and I was bartending for a minute. Yes, we only had beer and margaritas, but I was slanging like Sam Malone. Don't judge me.

Life's been pretty busy these past couple of weeks. Mostly good, but a couple of trying times for my friends and I. It's sometimes hard to look on the bright side of life, but Faith has never failed me before and I'm not going to stop believing now. It always gets better. And I mean ALWAYS. For those folks who don't always believe that, I have to believe even harder. So I will. If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31) With the devil trying HARD to get to an especially close friend, I know that my Faith can carry us both so I will continue to pray, continue to be that positive light and hope that he can see it soon. God has never let me down, so I won't ever let him down.

You know with this trip coming up, my blog will be my out there - especially since I won't be able to text you folks everything I'm seeing. So expect a lot more of these and a LOT of pics. I've been slacking lately but it's because I don't know how to balance my time between work, cleaning my apartment, Sherlocks, Mac's, Boomer Jacks, Champps, and Aspen Creek.... Don't judge me.

Until next time...