Monday, July 4, 2011

I Still Hate Kids

Oh man. Last weekend here before I get to home. And what a good one.

Friday after work, we went to Hard Rock Cafe - Mumbai, by way of TGIFridays. Ha. Margarita after margarita, joke after joke, chicken wing after chicken wing, it was pretty fun. By the time we got to Hard Rock, I was just a little bit tipsy. So we did it up right and ordered a Jack and seven and a shot of some sort. Tasted like I Vicks, but hey - I had a cold anyway. The music was FANTASTIC and the entertainment wasn't far behind. At one point, they gathered every employee in the place - bartenders, waiters, chefs, and door guys - and had them get up on the wall and do the YMCA. Now... I know this isn't America, but it makes me wonder if they really think we still do that there. The last time I've seen anyone do the YMCA, I was hiding a boner in my Jordache jeans, watching my fellow junior high students dance around. (Whom am I kidding - I had to look up how to even spell Jordache. My shit was cheaper than... well, a pair of Jordache jeans in 2011) When we left there, the lot of us, except for our driver, was pretty effing hammered. So much so that a certain accompanying party, who shall remain nameless, unprofessionally got off on the wrong floor. But that's neither here nor there...

Saturday, J Buck and I went back to R City Mall where I continued to search for shoes that met my needs. If you know me, I'm a ridiculously picky person - a lot of the times, to my own demise. Buying shoes just adds to this. I have to have a certain style, shape, color, and design. And if I can't find it, I'll continue to wear the same shoes I've been wearing for the past 19 years. Which, if you've seen my shoes now, you know I'm not kidding. The ones I wear daily now I didn't even buy - I got them from Marco and I effing love them. I have been eyeing them since HE bought them so when he asked if I wanted them, I pretty much yanked them out of his hand and put them on immediately. It didn't help that when I asked about some shoes that I almost wanted, the sales guy had no idea what the heck I was asking. I asked if they had these certain shoes in any other color, he said, "just black". And I don't want black shoes because I already HAVE black shoes. I wanted some other color. So I put them back. And he says, "How about these?". I said, "No, I don't want black". And he picks up another pair and says, "maybe these?" I said, "No, I don't really want black". After he picked up every black pair of shoes on the wall, I ended up just walking away before I slapped him with the pair of black shoes I WAS ALREADY WEARING. Anyway, I ended up buying more socks and no shoes. Eh.
I also bought wall art for my soon to be music room in my new apartment. It's going to be effing bad ass. Just wish they weren't so freaking expensive. I don't like spending money on crap like that. AND, as before, if you've seen my crappy furniture, you know it's true. Either hand-me-down or bought cheaply, I don't spend money on material goods. I spend my money on things that mean something. Like alcohol. Speaking of, I bought a bottle of vodka called White Mischief. Ha. Awesome.
Hey. It makes memories. Don't judge me.
We went to eat at the Rainforest again - where I realized that the waitstaff does NOT speak English. Again, they thought I spoke Hindi and I ended up just getting whatever drink they THOUGHT I wanted instead of what I ordered. I'm not sure if I've EVER gotten anything I've ordered since I've been here. I just end up agreeing to whatever they want to give me and roll with it. Which reminds me... I'm hungry....

Sunday, we got pretty bored so we went to hang out at Chili's. Where I have come to realize that I still hate kids.
First of all, the waiter comes up and says, "Hi, mine name is Chris".
Naw, nigga. It's not. I promise.
As we were sitting there enjoying another drink that didn't satisfy my needs, they started setting up for a party. With balloons. Which meant, little rugrats were about to invade the one place I could feel like I was at home. As the small little shits started piling it, the balloons started bursting. Probably by mistake at first, but damnit... that mess was on purpose towards the end. Now, you can't be sending me to a foreign country, that JUST had a terrorist attack a couple of months before, pop some motherf'ing balloons behind me, and not expect me to freak out a little bit. And to add to it, it was by little ankle biting, curtain climbers that kept running around the restaurant like they were at grandma's house. I swear I was about to trip one of them.
Disclaimer: if you are reading this and you have kids, let me clarify. I like my friend's kids. One, because they are my friend's kids. Two, because I can go home. And three, because I can go home. They're usually cute - I don't hang out with ugly people - and well behaved. But once I get around some little fools that ain't got no manners, I want to slap their mamas.
Also at this Chili's, I notice a table across from us that has sent their food back 3 times. All because the bitch was complaining about EVERYTHING and the dude had to deal with it. I could tell that he had a problem with her complaining as well because they started arguing once "Chris" left. To the point where after they finally got something sufficient enough to eat, she sat there pouting while he ate it. This is why I hate bitches. I wanted to shake her until her stupid frown fell off and I could step on it. Felt sorry for the guy. But... he's still with her so. Whateva, nigga.

Today is the 4th of July. And if you're wondering, no. There was no fireworks show here in Mumbai. Unless you count the fire that started from my air conditioner. Burn marks on the wall and all. Hole in the curtains. Awesome. All I have to be thankful for is the power probably went out and it stopped the fire. Ha. Find that silver lining somewhere.

I'll be home on Saturday!! Celebrating Christy's bday in Ft Worth Saturday night and having a typical Sunday with B before I move into my new apt on Monday and Tuesday. I am retarded excited about all of that. I'm gonna be one hungry, smelly, smiling son of a bitch around 3pm on Saturday. HOLLA!!

Until next time....

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