Monday, December 20, 2010

Yo yo yo. I mean, ho ho ho.

Shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash, mousse, baby powder, lotion, toothpaste, pomade, eye drops, Prilosec OTC, AND cologne.

Geez. Every morning after I take a shower to wash off all the funk, I put all of this crap back on my body. I'm a walking CVS. Or Walgreens, depending on which corner your on. How do I expect to "keep it real" when every morning I put on every chemical known to man to make myself presentable for the world? BUT I do it because I'm single and I gotta do what I gotta do if I'm going to not die that way. Seems to have worked so far, right?

Oh yea.

Still single.

I am back home now! No more Denver. Not that it was a bad city, just wasn't home. After spending six months there, I kind of figured it'd be good to actually spend some time in the apartment I'm paying for. But honestly, my apartment up there was WAY cooler than this one so it's kind of disappointing. Yet I'd rather be in my crappy apartment in Arlington than the nice, clean, comfortable, new smelling, big tv having, nice furniture, matching dishes having, FREE... wait, what's my point?
Oh yea.
So nice to be home. Hanging with the people I like to hang with instead of Randy, Thirsty's resident "me" and Melissa, the cool bartender with the boyfriend. Not that they aren't cool people. Just cool for Thorton. It was kind of fun people watching there, though. There was always something on. Like the scary old guy with the Zach Morris haircut or was all drugged up, the fat old lady with the tramp stamp that she couldn't WAIT to show anyone, the lesbian, and of course, the tall skinny lady who loved to do karaoke... and sounded like my ass after chinese food.
Speaking of racism, got another story for you. Went to Applebee's with the bossman last week and apparently, it's the place for your karaoke needs on Thursday nights. The manager comes up to our table and says, "I have a proposition for you. We do karaoke on Thursday nights and we use this table for it. I can move you to another table and I'll buy you guys a round."
Well, hell yes we're moving. As we're gathering our things, he says, "You can be the first to sign up, too." My boss, being the shy (pft) guy he is tells him that he doesn't sing but that I would. So the manager, with a straight, pale face asks, "What are you going to sing, 'La Bamba'?"


I was so taken back by his racism, I didn't know what to say. "That was rude" was all that I had. He says, "No, I just wanted to hear it!" Then why didn't you ask the big white guy at the table?

Haven't been working out as much since I got home. Just got really drunk. I mean busy. When I get off of work, I don't want to do jack but smoke cigarettes and drink beer. It's America's pastime, right? Or is that just me?
Anyway, Mac's has been letting me book bands for them once a month. REALLY cool. And a shit ton of fun. I love being able to do that again. Even got to book Cindy's band last weekend. They were AWESOME!! Proud brotha right here. I'm going to try to convince them to let me manage. But don't tell nobody.

Next step for work is supposed to be Minneapolis. Yup. Where the average temperature in January is 4 degrees. Where it snowed so much, the effing ROOF caved in. The roof. It's not on fire, it's covered in freaking snow and collapsing inside the stupid stadium. What the eff am I supposed to do with 4 degrees? Mexican's don't do that much coldness. The only time we are that cold is when we walk into the walk in freezer at your local restaurant. Don't lie - you know it's true.
Speaking of Minneapolis, I still want to punch Brett Favre in the face. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

Bryan got a job with me. That's both a good thing and a bad thing. With Jason, B, Josh, and Stephen all in the same building, you pretty much have to have HR on speed dial. I'm sure the ladies in the room have 4 out of the 5 digits on their phones pressed daily, just WAITING for one of us to "go too far". Eh. Whatcanyado...
I'm glad he's there, though. Makes for good times.

So Christmas is coming up and I have yet to even start shopping. I'm hoping Santa, this year, will just bring me presents to give to other people so I don't have to do it. I have 1 out of 254 that I have to buy. Just not motivated to go out and spend more money. I hate last minute shoppers. They're always in a bad mood. Like it's MY fault you like to procrastinate. OUCH! I think I just bit my tongue...
(Badoom chic)

Speaking of "badoom chic", I sent that to my mother the other day via text message. She had no clue what that meant. I told her to sound it out and she still couldn't hear it. I "laughed out loud", but I'm sure she didn't know what that meant either.

Gonna get up and run in the morning. I ain't trying to be a fat ass again. It's not enough to use so many chemicals that I could be radioactive. I gotta try and look sexy too. Like I said. Still single. Just saying.

Until next time...

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