Sunday, July 11, 2010

Holy delay!

Yea, it's been a couple of weeks. Sue me.
It's been busy here at work. Night time has been spent at dinner and then the gym. So, that's a good thing, I guess. Trying to get down to my "ideal" weight, at least. I only have about 5 lbs to go, which is awesome. But you know me... still won't be happy so I'll have to do something else.
Natalie is gone for the next 2 weeks to Germany. So I have the entire apt to myself until she returns. Not really a good thing, but kinda cool. Get to walk around in my underwear and lay in the middle of the floor and pass gas. All at the same time, if I wanted. AND I get to eat Del Taco instead of sitting down and having a full dinner. That's fat....
Been spending a lot of time at Thirsty's. It's a bad ass place. The bartender knows my name... uh oh. Which means I tip her way too much now. She's a cool chick who sings. And sings WELL! Surprised the crap out of me. She went up and did Red Hot Chili Peppers. What?? Already! Killed it. Gave her a drunken high five at the end of the night. That's how much game I got.
Saw on the news the other day, here in Denver, about a lady who ran off the road because she thought she was being chased by vampires....

Word?

And the Denver news team did her REAL sorry. The little box up next to the anchor had a picture of the Count Chocula. Ha. That's just wrong. Crazy bitch.
Also, last week, saw a dude on a croch-rocket, all geared up... with a fanny pack. No, dude. No. That's not how that works. You can't be a G and carry your wallet and change in a pouch on your side. These niggas is wild.
Speaking of wild, I was at Thirstys the other night and was sitting, minding my own business, when this dude walks in that looked like he watched too much Saved By the Bell and just stuck with the Zack Morris hair. Still. This fool had to be at least 45 and HIGH! So high, that he had trouble sitting in the stool. Sat and didn't know what he wanted to order.
"Can I get you something?"
"No, I'm good. Thanks."
Nigga, then why the hell your bring your high ass to the bar??
So the bartender brings him a rum and coke, after way too many questions and some retarded story about his dad and whiskey. I wasn't paying too close attention because I was afraid he was going to start talking to me. Those fools scare me.
"That'll be four dollars."
After fumbling with his wallet for 3 minutes, he hands it to her and says, "I'm just tired. Could you take it out for me?"
(First of all, that's what she said.) When she pulled out a five and brought him back his change, she tries to be nice and makes small talk.
"So you're tired, huh?"
"What's that?"
"Why are you tired?"
"Oh, I'm not tired. I'm actually really alert."
Huh? Fool, you just called your backwoods ass out for being high. The bartender finally got tired (ha) of it and walked away to the other side of the bar, leaving me there with Weirdo McGee. He asked me if that was my girlfriend. I told him no and ran away.
The other night, Nat and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. Awesome. They were showing the Ranger game - hell yes. As we're there, though, I look over at the bar and there is a dude eating his wings by dipping his finger in the ranch and spreading it on the wing.
Huh?
That's just weird to me. Dip that motherfucker, dude! Come on. Dippy Diperson.
This next week will be a pretty big one. Natalie is gone so work is JUST me. And HOPING for some really big, really good news for B. AND having the luau at Mac's on Saturday. AND have to get fitted for Marco's wedding this weekend. Crazy, that fool is getting MARRIED in about 3 weeks. AND I have to go the Thristys. Just kidding.
No I'm not.
Well... today is the anniversary of the death of our good friend Brittany Bridge. Eleven years ago today, she went home to God. I've known Brittany since fourth grade. She was part of the GT thing with me. And we miss her, dearly. She was the most awesome person. So, let's do a virtual-blog-toast to our friend.

Until next time...

3 comments:

  1. ROGER!! You crack me up!! Im in tears at my desk!!

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  2. your blogs..are too funny ..luv reading them ..you should of really been a journalist or write a book ..or something in tht nature..good writing keep them coming!!!!

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  3. I have a few things to say about this entry:

    1. I think 'Oh, I'm not tired. I'm actually really alert' is pretty much the best response I've ever heard. I'm keeping it and filing it under "emergency drunk responses".

    2. As far as I'm concerned, high fives make awesome foreplay.

    3. Was the vampire lady hurt? Dude, that's pretty scary. If I were you I'd watch my back and bring a wooden stake with me everywhere. I mean, you just never know. Also, I'd recommend maybe carrying salt around too. Not for any particular reason, really. I just think it would come in handy. You could throw it at people like the ranch guy. I mean wtf is that about? That's just sick.

    4. Don't listen to anything I've just said. I'm socially retarded.

    - Dizzy

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