Saturday, March 23, 2013


So today, after a week of not killing my liver, I finally had an alcoholic beverage. I say AN alcoholic beverage because my mother is probably reading.
Today is Saturday and you know how I like to day drink. I waited for noon, when Chili's opened, and had my first drink in a week. "Presedente" Margarita. Without the Presedente, by the way. Apparently, they can get away with not serving it with Presedente by noting on the menu its "tequila", not Presedente tequila. Sneaky Indians... I ordered the "chicken fried" chicken strips. Which came out looking like 5 chicken fried steaks on a plate with a corn cob and french fries. Ate about half and couldn't do it anymore. BUT I did have a couple more Presedentes. Wasn't sure how much it affected me until "Whip My Hair" by Willow Smith came on. I found myself "whipping my hair back and forth", while the bartender stared at me, and realized it's been awhile since I had a drink. Didn't help that Shakira came on next and I was bar dancing in my seat. Indians apparently don't know about "bar dancing". People were staring more than a mexican in traffic.
Had a couple and then finally went to bed. For awhile. And woke up to do some sanging. Walked into the karaoke bar next door to someone singing George Thorogood. Word? And then, Sweet Home Alabama. What the fuck this nigga know about Alabama? Couldn't stop smiling for 30 minutes cause it just kept getting better. Sweet Child of Mine, U2, Billy Ocean... I can't do 80's music. Most dudes who sang in the 80's sang higher than the females did! I can't do that shit. So I started to play a game...
If you've ever been to Passport Health, the people who tell give you your international shots, you know that they are anti-travel. These people will tell you about every disease, parasite, sickness, rash, cough and sneeze, ailment that you will ever get from any other country besides America. They will scare you into believing that as soon as you get off of the plane, you have potentially caught Malaria, Herpes, Diabetes, SARS, Swine flu, Bird, flu, Dog flu, carpel tunnel, small pox, chicken pox, and VD before you even speak to customs UNLESS you spend $345 on pills and shots to prevent it all. Apparently, you can't drink the water in any other country except the US. Which sticks to you. So when you get a mixed drink, you know it comes with ice aka frozen death. So the game begins.
You have to finish your drink before your ice melts or else you die on the spot of some made up disease that no one has heard of but EVERYONE is afraid of. Which means that you drink a lot more than anticipated just because you don't like rashes. Well let's just say I played that game. And I lost.
As I kept watching the show, I became aware that it really wasn't karaoke night. There was a dude there singing and this was his show. Oops.But wait, they just said we could sing! There's my queue.
Asked for Incubus. No luck. Asked for Michael Buble. Nope. Asked for "No Diggity" to no avail. Asked for Matchbox 20 and all they have is "Smooth" by Rob Thomas/Santana. I'll take what I can get. But singing a "spanish" song in India doesn't land so well as singing it in Texas.
Either way, there were all of 3 people singing tonight, besides the dj and his girl, and no one really cared. Man, I miss Aiyoku. Black people and being center of attention go together like drunk texts and morning regret. Ask me tomorrow about that one.
Tomorrow is brunch day, since my work network connection is STILL not working. We'll see how much brown people relate during drunk lunch. I'll keep you posted.

Until next time...

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