Saturday, August 4, 2012

Lollapalooza Part 1

First off, let me start by saying yes, it has been WAY too long since I've done one of these. I never hooked up the internet at my apt and that kinda stifles my ability to do... online things. And since when I'm at work, I'm working, this is the first in almost a year.
Since my last post, not a whole lot has changed. I did come home from India, I got over some old stuff, moved on to some new exciting stuff, and am pretty effing content right now. Especially since I've been on vacation for a couple of days to come to Chicago and go to Lollapalooza - the three day music festival featuring Black Sabbath, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jack White, The Black Keys, and a crap ton of other people that you probably won't know unless you heard them.
Today was day one. We woke up this morning to a billion young, douchey, way too hippie people walking down the streets of downtown Chicago. I can say that because I wasn't wearing blue jean shorts or tight jeans and a tank top. And white sunglasses. And we all know how I feel about white sunglasses. They should be outlawed, thrown into the river, never to be heard of again. But I digress...
The temperature is effing awesome up here. It's like spring time in Dallas. The first show we caught was Haley Reinhart. She had an awesome voice but I have never heard of one song before. Which probably made it better. The further in the day it got, the more I realized... I've only seen 4 black people. There was 5, but was escorted out due to unrelated circumstances (I hope). Beer was of course, expensive and so was the food. I didn't eat, nor drink much so that was good. With the buckets of sweat I extruded, I may even lose weight this weekend. I was sweating more than a fat boy doing strenuous work.... like standing up.
These fools were getting WILD out there. I never seen drugs being used so openly! There were folks doing bumps, smoking weed like it was Marlboro Lights. There was even a little mexican dude walking through the crowd, holding little bags of weed in the air with the intent to distribute. I said, ain't this some shit? Apparently, Lolloapalooza don't follow normal American laws. It turns into Neverland and everything goes. (Badoom chic?)
And the white people dancing... oh  man... White people IS funny. Especially with the drugs, these people really thought they were doing something. I think I saw ONE chick that looked like she knew how to move those skinny white hips, but the others just look like they were praying to the rain gods. I thought the clouds were about to gather and the it was going to rain gumdrops and joints.
And the clothes! It was a mix of the 60's and 80's and then, like, 2140. The hippie dresses and the shorts that come up above the belly button, like they should read "Bugle Boy" on the back pocket. And then the sunglasses that were right out of the movie Cocktails. And then the club kids listening to the dubstep djs at Lollapalooza... oh geez... I feel sorry for our children.
The last show was Black Sabbath. Ozzie was AMAZING... for about an hour. Then after that, I think he got tired because the only thing I recognized coming out of his mouth was "THANK YOU" after every song. He should just keep singing because between songs he kept saying something, and I swear everyone in the audience turned to look at each other and ask what the eff he was saying.
"Refmla ehtlam jalu, Chicago!"
"Wha.... What did he say?...... WOOO HOOO! GO OZZIE!"
At one point, I think he told everyone to jump but no one understood so they just started waving their hands in the air.

After 10 hours of sweating, loud music, beer, and very unhealthy food, we were beat. Took a shower and headed to the bar. Ha. You know me... Now it's time for day 2 to start and we are getting ready to do it all over again - sunburn and all. My face is redder than my a fat boy doing something strenuous... like stand up.
Oh wait, I said that already. Apparently, I REALLY look like a fat boy doing strenuous work.
Dunkin Donuts, here we come!

Until next time...

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